Country rejoices patriotically over liberation of the East July 16, 2007
Posted by brokennews in Politics, Sri Lanka.5 comments
Cities throughout Sri Lanka overflowed with patriotic joy this weekend in response to the government’s capture of Thoppigala and thus its total liberation of the Eastern Province from terrorists. Trishaw driver K. A. L. P. Kamaladasa commented euphorically, ‘Now our brothers and sisters in the East can live their lives without fear of terrorism and violence! Well, apart from encounters with the LTTE cadres that still move around the area … and of course the ongoing violence from the TMVP (both the Karuna and Piliyalan factions) … not to mention problems with rogue elements of the STF … and the newly resurgent EPDP. Hooray for peace!’
The government yesterday unveiled elaborate plans to celebrate the Thoppigala victory. Talking to the media, President Mahinda Rajapakse said, ‘We are going to have an victory ceremony on Thursday at Independence Square, which will itself be renamed Thoppigala Patch given that our recent victory is clearly the most significant victory that this nation has ever achieved. Our initial plan was that after demolishing Independence Square, we would landscape it to look like the Thoppigala scrub. However we then realised that we could actually fit all of Thoppigala onto the Independence Square site, so the plan is to airlift the land that we now control and ceremonially drop it on the Independence Square site as part of Thursday’s festivities’
[Ed: The BrokenNews team apologises for the lack of articles in the last month; we were grappling with the value of satire in a country so deeply mired in farce. Our struggle continues...]
