Dictatorship rankings hot up as Mugabe, Musharraf and Mahinda all gain ground

The world dictatorship rankings saw a lot of changes last week as the leaders of Zimbabwe, Pakistan and Sri Lanka intensified their bids to become the world’s top tyrant. Zimbabwe’s President Mugabe gained 32 points to move up to number three on the list after his orchestration of the assault on Zimbabwe’s opposition leader. President Musharraf’s suspension of Pakistan’s Supreme Court Chief Justice moved him up four places to number eight. Sri Lanka’s President Rajapakse continued his progress up the list; the arrest of prominent critics and the strengthening of the Sri Lankan police state provided a 14 point boost to his ratings, moving him up to number fourteen.

World number one Kim Il Jong of North Korea commented on the challenge being made on his position saying, ‘Mugabe doesn’t frighten me – he’s been playing this game for decades and he’s still only number three! Musharraf and Mahinda are more interesting because of their facial hair. Everyone knows that you can tell a good dictator by what they do with their hair; my hairstyle and Fidel’s beard are legendary. Mugabe’s mustache is a bit silly but both Musharraf and Mahinda have very twirlable mustaches and that’s a pretty strong statement of their intentions. I will be watching them closely’.